The decent in to middle earth

Where did J.R. Tolkien go wrong and what the hell is J.K Rowling’s problem, do either of them actually know anything about magic?

I have watched all the Lord of the Rings and Hobbit movies, seen Bilbo Baggins and Frodo become invisible using the one ring. Seen Gandalf fight demons with his enchanted staff, watched Saruman summon evil spirits and seen the magic of the elves with my own eyes.

I’ve sat through all the Harry Potter movies and have read the books, I’ve witnessed, levitation, teleportation, flying broom sticks, mind control techniques and the side effects of polly juice, I’ve seen those young wizards perform transfiguration, watched them learn charms, astronomy, potions, divination, herbology and even arithmancy. I’ve sat on the edge of my seat as they battled death eaters, demon’s, ghosts, fantastical beasts and the torturous Cruciatus curse.

And don't get me started on where Stan Lee and Steve Ditko went wrong with the mysterious Doctor Strange.

The problem is that at no point during the exploits of Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Albus Dumbledore, professor Snape or even the dark lord himself did I hear the ultimate magical incantation “pick a card any card” and not once among the wizards, witch’s sorcerers, orcs, elves, demons and spirits of middle earth did I witness one Sybil cut.

Honestly do these authors and movie makers have any clue what real magic looks like? If this continues I despair for the future of our art.

Luckily every year 3500 powerful magicians descend in to middle earth (known among true wizards as Blackpool) and at least 3000 of them will combine their forces to re-balance the cosmos and address this magical mishap.
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Phew!

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